Warning Signs of an Abusive Person

Abuse can creep into to a relationship slowly. This can trick a woman into thinking her relationship is just hard and it is her fault.

She Might Not Know It Is Abuse

"The things I'm learning about manipulation are very eye-opening for me. I thought all these years that my husband was my best friend. I thought he was helping me. Turns out, he was just lying, and manipulating me. I have learned that my husband is not my best friend. He is the person who has been hurting me the most. He has been trying to kill my spirit and cause me not even to realize it was him." - Christy

Asking the Right Questions Can Help

When talking to a woman who is in a controlling relationship it is important to be respectful of what she has experienced and the confusion the abuser has created in her life. A domestic abuse survivor wrote to us and gave us a list of questions she would ask if she was "talking to a woman and trying to figure out if she is in an abusive relationship (even if she doesn't know it).

Download Questions

Red Flags & Warning Signs

may include but are NOT limited to:

Extreme jealousy
Possessiveness
Unpredictability
A bad temper
Cruelty to animals
Verbal abuse
Extremely controlling behavior
Antiquated beliefs about roles of women and men in relationships
Forced sex or disregard of their partner’s unwillingness to have sex
Sabotage of birth control methods or refusal to honor agreed upon methods

Blaming the victim for anything bad that happens
Sabotage or obstruction of the victim’s ability to work or attend school
Controls all the finances
Abuse of other family members, children or pets
Accusations of the victim flirting with others or having an affair
Control of what the victim wears and how they act
Demeaning the victim either privately or publicly
Embarrassment or humiliation of the victim in front of others
Harassment of the victim at work

There is no excuse for abuse.

Scripture and faith can be used as a weapon to control a woman. This is not what God intended.

Do you know what abuse in a Christian marriage can look like?

Understanding Spiritual Abuse

What IS a Healthy Relationship?

It can be hard to know what a healthy relationship looks like, especially for someone that has been been in a controlling and manipulative relationship.

She might think her relationship is just hard and that everyone experiences similar things behind closed doors. It is important to help her understand the difference is between normal relationship conflict and abuse.