Empowered & Prepared: A Guide to Creating a Safety Plan

Have you ever heard of a safety plan? Maybe for your kid's school or in your workplace. But what about one to keep you safe in your hard marriage?

It might feel scary to think about safety planning...like you are acknowledging the possibility of things getting worse. But it is important to gather your courage and consider the realities of your situation and that abuse will generally get worse over time. Remember -  we cannot control the actions of someone else BUT WE CAN take steps to protect ourselves and those we love. Creating a safety plan is an empowering step for anyone in a controlling relationship.

Perhaps you don't feel unsafe right now

A safety plan is still important for you! You don’t have to feel unsafe in your home to create a safety plan. A past oasis participant felt this way but went ahead and did it anyway...this is what she had to say:

"I remember doing (Lesson 5, Bk 1 making a safety plan) a year ago after I had just separated from my husband. I believed that he would never do the harmful things to me listed in this lesson. I packed my little bag of clothes as a safety measure and pretended I was unsafe. Just last week I had to file a restraining order because he was behaving in a way I never thought he would, and it was very unsafe for my little daughters and me. All of a sudden what felt like pretend before became very real" - Christy

A safety plan allows you to prepare ahead of time

In times of stress and danger, it is difficult to think ahead or very clearly - by taking the time to create a safety plan, you'll have already thought through what you need to do and the resources/support you'll need.

1. Identify Your Risks:

What are your abuser's triggers or threats?

What are your escape routes from your home or other common locations?

Does your abuser have access to your finances or technology?

How can you prepare your children to stay safe? 

2. Gather Important Documents: 

Keep copies of identification documents like passports, birth certificates, social security cards, lease/rental agreement, house deed, medical records, and financial records in a safe place outside your home. 

3. Getting Ready to Leave: 

Keep your phone charged at all times

Identify safe havens – friends' houses, shelters, or family members you can trust.

Pack a "go bag" with essentials like clothes, toiletries, medications, phone chargers, and a few days' worth of cash. Make copies of car and house keys. Keep it hidden but accessible.

Plan escape routes from your home, including exits and alternate routes. Identify the safest rooms in your house, in case you get into an argument. 

4. Technology Safety: 

Change passwords to all accounts (email, social media, bank accounts).

Consider disabling location services on your phone. (check out this article for specifics of when/how to disable those)

Explore apps designed for domestic violence survivors that offer discreet emergency features.

Research on secure devices, like at public libraries or at a trusted friend/family's home.  

5. Build Your Support System: 

Talk to a victim advocate who can help you fully consider safety issues, understand your legal rights, and identify community resources

Confide in trusted people - friends, family members, or a therapist.

Let a trusted neighbor know about your situation and encourage them to contact the authorities if they are concerned about your safety.

Contact a local domestic violence shelter or hotline for additional resources and support.

Consider joining an Oasis Bible Study online support class - Books 1 and 2 have Safety Plans and discuss ways to stay safe. 

We have a downloadable safety plan available for you: click here for the plan and more helpful tips for you.  Your safety plan is a living document. Keep it in a safe place. Review and update it regularly.

The danger level increases for a woman when she is talking about leaving, as she leaves, and after she has left. By creating a safety plan, you take a powerful step towards reclaiming control and building a future with less fear.

Don't hesitate to reach out for help. You are not alone. Ask for help, see if a friend or family member can sit down with you to fill out your plan and maybe even do some of the research on resources in your area.

 You are strong, and you are worthy of safety. 

Abuse is not your fault.

This blog post is intended for informational purposes only and does not substitute for professional advice.

For immediate help, please contact your local domestic violence hotline or the National Domestic Violence hotline: 800.799.7233