15 Characteristics of a Healthy Marriage

Healing from a controlling (or abusive) relationship is an incredibly difficult journey, and if you're reading this, you may be feeling isolated, controlled, unheard, confused and doubting yourself. It is important to recognize that what you have endured is not your fault, and you deserve to experience love in its healthiest form. As you begin or continue on your healing journey, it is essential to understand what a healthy, supportive relationship can look like.

Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, empathy, and trust - qualities that might have been absent in your previous experiences. Below you will find 15 signs of a healthy marriage to give you insight into what is normal and reasonable to expect in a relationship.

15 Characteristics of a Healthy Marriage

1. Responsibility for Personal Needs. Partners recognize that they are ultimately responsible for meeting their own needs and they do their best to help each other meet those needs.
2. Respectful Communication. Couples have open and honest communication. They communicate daily when possible.
3. Relationship is a Priority. Couples continue nourishing their relationship. They consistently create time for the two of them.
4. Realistic Expectations. Couples in healthy relationships see each other as whole people with strengths and flaws. They love each other despite their weaknesses.
5. Empathy. Partners are willing and able to empathize with each other. They are willing to see things from their partner's perspective and make what their partner wants and needs as important to them as what they want and need.
6. Constructive Conflict. Conflict is a part of healthy relationships. In a healthy relationship, conflict is dealt with in an open and respectful way, so that it strengthens the relationship rather than ripping it apart.
7. Intimacy (sexual and non-sexual). Healthy relationships have a level of trust and connection that is satisfying and comforting. There are expressions of tenderness, caring, and concern. Sexual intimacy is always respectful, unique to each couple and takes into consideration the needs and desires of both partners.
8. Financial Responsibility. Couples share the decision-making about finances and come to an agreement on how they will handle finances that feels good to both partners.
9. Flexibility. Partners accept that change is unavoidable. They are proactive, flexible.
10. Sense of Humor. Couples are able to laugh at themselves and to find the humor in situations. Healthy couples use their sense of humor and goodwill to enjoy life and to deal with the unsolvable differences in their relationship.
11. Shared Responsibilities. There is a willingness to share responsibilities and work together as a team to accomplish daily tasks as well as working toward their goals.
12. Alliance of Two Adults. Partners see each other as equals and behave as two mature adults rather than behaving either childishly or domineeringly.
13. Individuality. Healthy marriages are the union of two whole people to make one great relationship. Each partner has a sense of his or her own identity.
14. Loyalty and Faithfulness. Consistent effort to build the relationship helps to affair-proof the marriage. If an affair has happened, the couple can choose to work together to rebuild trust.
15. Commitment. Couples choose to use their stubbornness to stick together through tough times. When something goes wrong, they work together to solve the issues. [i]

Knowing what a healthy marriage looks like can be a confidence building step in your healing journey. The qualities described above - such as empathy, communication, and mutual respect - are not just ideals BUT attainable realities for those who commit to nurturing a relationship built on love and trust.

Remember, you are worthy of a relationship where both you and your partner grow together, each valued for who they are. As you move forward, trust in who God made you to be, spend time in His Word, and allow yourself the time to recognize and build the kind of love that is supportive, safe, and full of hope! An Oasis Bible Study online support class can help you with community and practical tools to help you find healing and restoration.

 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)