5 Ways to Be a Safe Friend or Family Member

As Christians, we're called to love and support one another. We know how to do that when someone is sick, just had a baby, lost a loved one....but what about when someone we know is in a hard marriage. What if we suspect it is more than just hard. Things she has mentioned to you or interactions you've seen just feel "off" to you. You suspect abuse but aren't sure what to do.

When it comes domestic abuse, knowing how to support someone can feel overwhelming or difficult.

Reading this article is a great first step toward being a supportive person for a woman in a confusing and scary relationship! And whether we are aware of it or not... we each know a woman that has faced domestic abuse. The statistics of abuse tell a somber story: one in four women will face intimate partner violence in their lifetime. 

Domestic abuse can be a silent struggle, shrouded in shame and fear. Complicated situations can cause women not to share their stories. Your ability to recognize the signs of abuse and offer unconditional love and support can be life-changing for a friend in need. Learn More about Domestic Abuse >>

Here Are 5 Ways You Can Be a Safe Friend or Family Member:

Listen with Open Ears and a Loving Heart:

• Domestic abuse can be a combination of the following: physical, psychological, emotional, sexual, spiritual, and financial. Let your friend know you're there to listen without judgment. Create a safe space for her to confide in you, even if it is just a moment to share her tears. 

Be Aware of the Signs:

• Does she seem withdrawn or afraid? 
• Are there excuses for injuries, or excessive controlling behavior from her partner?

Validate Her Experience:

• Don't dismiss her feelings or minimize the abuse. Phrases like "It's not that bad" or "Why don't you just leave?" can make her feel isolated.
• Instead, say things like "I believe you" and "You deserve to be treated with respect." Remind her that she is loved and valuable. 

Offer Concrete Support:

• Help her develop a safety plan, which includes emergency resources and trusted contacts. Check out our safety plans here >>
• Offer to accompany her to appointments or help connect her with local support organizations.

Remember, You Can't Fix the Situation, But You Can Be There for Her:

• The decision to leave an abusive relationship for emotional or physical safety is between her and God. Focus on offering support and resources, without pressuring her into choices she’s not ready for. Encourage her to get connected with professional domestic abuse organizations and counselors, and join an Oasis Support Class so she can learn more about domestic abuse and God's desire for a healthy marriage. You do not need to take on the weight of the abuse on your own, which is why we have resources like this article and Hope Giver Essentials.

By educating yourself and being a listening ear, you can care for sisters in need. No woman should have to face domestic abuse alone. 

A good book to read is "Helping Her Get Free: A Guide for Families and Friends of Abuse Women" by Susan Brewster, M.S.S.W. Click here for Amazon link>>>

If today’s blog has sparked your interest, you can take our short quiz to find out whether you’re a safe friend or family member for a woman experiencing abuse. You'll gain valuable insights about domestic abuse and how you can support the women in your life!