Facing Your Experience: Courage and Self-Reflection

Self reflection is a key component of healing from domestic abuse. It takes courage to begin the process - what would you like your life to look like and what you'll need to do to make that happen. It might feel daunting or overwhelming as you take a look at your life and acknowledge what is happening. We know that you can find the courage to take those scary first steps.  As you do, you'll be able to find healing, regain your dignity and begin to hope again. 

Why Self-Reflection Matters

The abuse you've experienced in your marriage can steal your confidence and wrap you in doubt and confusion. Like a fractured mirror reflecting a distorted image, abuse can warp your self-perception.

As survivor Carol said, "I was full of confusion from my abusive husband...very depressed, feeling hopeless, stripped of value, and unsupported. I was afraid of my husband and felt completely powerless against him and the way he controlled my life."

It will take time, learning about domestic abuse, believing what God says about you combined with self-reflection to rediscover your values and reclaim your dignity. As you accept you are loved unconditionally and give yourself permission to imagine a different life or yourself, you will be able to make the choices to create that life.

It might help you to journal through the questions below...perhaps pick one a week to think about. You could write it on a post it note and put it somewhere you'll see frequently. (If you are still living with your abusive spouse, be sure to do this only if you can do so safely).

Embracing the Courage to Heal

It is important to keep in mind that healing isn't a linear path. Give yourself grace to grow and accept both the good days and the difficult days. Ask God to give you courage you need to face the true reality of your situation, even when it's painful. He will give you the strength you need. Have patience with yourself as you walk this journey to wholeness and embracing who you are in Christ.

Seeking Support on Your Path

Remember, you are not alone on this journey - even if you feel like you might be - there are others out there ready and willing to be there for you. You will benefit from creating a community of others to support you in your healing. Your support team will help build your confidence and allow you to begin to take steps toward healthy boundaries. In addition to trusted friends/family, you should seek guidance from a trauma informed therapist or a support group specifically for survivors of domestic violence. Sharing your experiences will be incredibly empowering for you.

No matter where you are in your journey of healing, we pray that you will begin to take the steps you need to live the life God wants for you. Build your foundation in Christ, gather tools for healing from trauma, and put together a strong support team to walk with you on this journey. 

The Oasis Bible Study Online Support Classes can be a great place to start healing....we provide the truth about abuse paired with God's Word in a safe and confidential environment with a community of other women that understand what you are going through. With 3 books and 27 lessons, you'll find the information, tools, and support you need.

Carly went through Oasis and says, "through studying God's truths about me, his design for healthy relationships, and the support of the women in my group, I became educated, empowered, and equipped to face my situation and to make changes in my life." 

Remember - you don't deserve to be treated this way - abuse is not your fault.